Dumplings, Three: Oh the TRAUMAS of Motherhood!...

Monday, November 13, 2006

Oh the TRAUMAS of Motherhood!...

THIS is the e-mail I received today from my eleven year old daughter (away on an independent vacation in Texas):

HI mom!

I only semi-miss you! How is Rayna doing? I bet they are turning into
zombies! Hmmmmm... Maybe when I come home I'll have free run of the place
since they're zombies now!!! See you soon (unfortunatly!) Love you!

Darcy.

A mother with a thinner skin might be a bit wounded. Alas, I do not have a thin skin (or thin anything as my eldest would be quick to point out!)! I'm glad Darcy is having fun with her grandparents. I WISH her siblings were turning into zombies in her absence. In truth, they are every bit as rambunctious as ever. Actually, Rayna, is sweet as can be while it is just she and I (relishing the individual attention), but she is a TYRANT around her older brother. The minute he gets home from school, she turns into the bossiest, noisiest, grouchiest little monster I have ever seen. Usually she and he are grand buddies and not prone to fighting with each other...but, in the absence of Darcy, I think Rayna is trying to make a move to be top dog in the sibling hierarchy...bossing Doug and pushing him around way more than she usually does. Doug is retaliating with quiet, passive, massive resistance. Tonight, he ate her entire package of gum...literally...stuck four pieces in his mouth at once and then swallowed them. She was livid. I was on the phone with the business office discussing Rayna's latest medical bill at the time that all heck broke loose. Doug wasn't making any noise (quietly passively resistant, as I had said), but Rayna was screeching and screaming at the tops of her lungs at him...on and on and on. It was extremely embarrassing. I can only imagine what the woman on the other end of the line thought of all the background noise. Oh, the wrath of a four year old whose gum has been stolen and whose AUTHORITY is being challenged!!!

8 comments:

Beckyb said...: How fun for her to be able to go on her own - I like that idea!! (May have to talk the grandparents into that!!!) I love the email!!; 11/13/2006 7:51 PM
Jean said...: Well, I hardly think those comments becoming to one who now rides Wildfire! :-) And I was just beginning to think she might be up to the challenge of PowderKeg next year. Maybe not. :-) Actually, that is just so pre-teen to early teen's attempt at humor. They CAN get QUITE annoying with it at times! Aaron is still going through it at 15. By the way, have you heard anything from Uncle Fred & Aunt Esther?; 11/13/2006 11:03 PM
Deb said...: Sounds like you have your hands full! Love how kids can be so honest about their feelings! Cute e-mail
*HUGABUGS*; 11/14/2006 9:12 AM
just me said...: When my 10 year old daughter made a 3 night school trip with her schoolmates 2 years ago, I felt I missed her more than she missed me! So I know what you are feeling; 11/15/2006 3:11 PM
Vivian said...: My son just requested last night that he wants a sleepover at his grandparents (they live nearby). He did it couple of years ago, and when asked if he missed me, he said "no, cause I know I need to come back home."; 11/15/2006 3:44 PM
Anonymous said...: I'm actually glad she doesn't miss me. I would hate to think about her being homesick. And I know how much fun I had on my own independent vacations when I was a kid. I'm really glad she has the opportunity to spread her wings apart from us (her immediate family)...and it pleases me that she so THOROUGHLY enjoys it. I know she would miss us big time if she were away from home too long.

And, I have to admit, that there are enjoyable aspects for me when she is off on her own little vacation...two kids to keep up with instead of three (though I, too, would get terribly homesick for her if she was going to be gone more than just a few weeks). I get more individual time with the other two kids...especially Rayna (as Doug is in school much of the day and normally I am busy with Darcy during that time--she is homeschooled, unlike her brother).

I'll be glad to get the ornery little wart back, though!; 11/16/2006 4:56 PM
Darcy said...: Thanks for putting my e-mail all over the net! MOM!; 12/06/2006 11:42 AM
Anonymous said...: Well, my dear daughter, that is what you get for being in such a hurry that you couldn't take time to MISS your poor mother a bit more!!!; 12/07/2006 5:48 PM

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A Little Bit About Our Family
Here in the mid-West
(of the United States):

Grant (age 48) teaches Graphic Design at Southwest Baptist University. He is also an avid Bluegrass musician.

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Monica (age 48) works three days a week as a home health nurse through an agency that covers seven counties in our rural part of the Ozarks.

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Darcy (age 15) is a sophomore. (She was home-schooled through seventh grade, but now attends public school, where she also flourishes!) She is our family member who LIVES on facebook!

She is born leader, quick witted, high spirited, and independent! She has an overly developed sense of mischief, is adventurous and has always had a mind of her own! She is a gifted singer and enjoys playing the mandolin. She was born in JiangXi province of China and came home to us when she was 8 1/2 months old.

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Doug (age 12) is a sixth grade student. Though he is the "middle child" he was the last to join our family. He came home to us when he was six years old. He was born in Taiwan.

He is a happy-go-lucky fellow stuck between two very bossy sisters (one older, one younger)!

Injuries in infancy have left him a legacy of challenges with learning, memory, impulse control and language...throw on top of that that he had to start over with an entirely new language just six years ago and you can see the mountain he has had to climb.

Doug is an easy-going child with a heart of gold. He has an incredibly generous spirit and forgiving nature....and he dearly loves to laugh. All of our children have overly high energy levels and poor volume controls...but he beats his sisters out on both counts.

Doug has an in-born sense of direction. Many a time, he has rescued his mother from getting lost! And Doug has an amazing memory for FACES. He never forgets a face and will instantly recognize them even in totally different contexts. He is extremely intuitive. He can read emotions with uncanny ease, no matter how good you are at hiding them. He is an extremely compassionate/empathetic child. Doug has aspirations of becoming a Super Hero...and all superheroes count heavily in importance in his day to day life!

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Rayna (age 8) is in the third grade. She was born in AnHui province of China and came home to us when she was 9 months old. She is our melodramatic child.

Nothing is ever middle of the road with Rayna. This child LIVES the extremes and would never be caught dead in the middle! She broadcasts every nuance of her changing emotions so clearly that you could "read" her from a football field away! Fortunately, for us, her mood the overwhelming majority of the time is pure Joy and Happiness.

Her goal is to be 15 instead of 8, and to that end she strives ceaselessly! She learned to ride her bike at an early age without anyone running alongside to teach her. At three, she independently managed her own horse with confidence as we spent three days trekking through the mountains of Canada.

She is a child overflowing with confidence and the in-born belief that she will excel at whatever she decides to do. She has never been a child to hesitate at anything, and it shows even in her misuse of the English language...as she continually throws words into her conversation that she has no clue as to what they really mean or makes up words that don't really exist, but probably should!

She takes great pride in bossing her older brother around. I remember when he first came to us at the age of six, speaking only Chinese...Rayna (then 2 1/2) quickly latched on to enough Chinese to emphatically scold him! (Fortunately, Doug does not seem to mind too much having two sisters that boss him. He loves them both!)

Rayna is a lover of nature. She is the champion of every bug or furry creature that ever walked the earth. Unfortunately for them, at least when she was younger(!), she was bent on "saving" each and every last one of them. She would pick up crawdad or walking stick or snake or baby bunny and insist she must be allowed to take it home. When Iwould tell her absolutely not, she would genuinely be reduced to pure grief over the fact that she had to ABANDON the creature that so desperately NEEDED her love and care. This child had so many meltdowns into unimaginable depths of sobbing or wails of anguish that I had long ago learned to ignore all auditory cues! If she was pouring blood, I take notice, otherwise I didn't bother! (And, though she could be wailing in utter despondency one moment, she, usually, was overflowing with happiness the next moment. Her storms were memorable, but fleeting!) Nowadays, she is more akin to a 13 year old in an 8 year old body with her mood swings.

Rayna is a total cuddle-bug...and her gift has always been her utter love of people. Even as a baby, she genuinely loved and enthusiastically reached out to each and every soul she met. She has always had a way of making each person feel like they are the most important person around.

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Then we have our four dogs:
Shanachie--former stray--been with us 14 years, came to us already several years old.

She seems to have some lab and shepherd in her. She has always been the brains of the pack and the leader (dogwise!), but nowadays her advanced age is really catching up to her. She is Rayna's favorite and Grant's favorite.

(Shanachie passed away December 22, 2008.)

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Gloria--plucked from the litter of a stray--been with us 11 years. She thinks she is a teacup poodle and does not understand why no one wants a 100 pound dog in their lap!

She is sweet, but dumb as a box of rocks! She once tried to fit in then-4-year-old Rayna's carseat WITH Rayna...positioning her enormous, furry self, right into Rayna's lap. That made Rayna LIVID, and I'm not sure she has forgiven the dog, yet! Gloria looks for all the world like a Newfoundland if you don't count her ears! She is ALL teddy-bear...the most snuggly dog we have ever had. There isn't a disagreeable bone in her body. She is Darcy's favorite...and frustrates me (Monica) more than any of the other dogs ever have (she is just so passively STUBBORN!).

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Rivendell--former stray, dumped as a pup along with a litter-mate--been with us five and a half years (we found another home for the panda-bear marked litter-mate).

She seems to be mostly border collie. She's our stealth dog...moves like lightening, low to the ground! Herding is in her blood! She makes such strong EYE contact that it often unnerves people!

People, upon first meeting her, often remark either that she has "beautiful eyes" or "spooky eyes". Rivie is "my" dog, but her one fault (severe car sickness) prevents her from being my daily side-kick as I run errands.

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Ransom--registered German Shepherd--plucked from the first litter of my best friend's dog--has been with us 2 years now. She was the trouble maker in the litter! My friend, Lisa, still refers to her as "your scroungy ole coyote". (Lisa gave me first pick out of the litter and later she picked the most beautiful, most loving and most eager to please pup from the litter to keep, herself. Lisa has never been able to understand why I wanted Ransom over any of the others. But, maybe it was because of all the pups, Ransom truly was the most wolf-like. She had an independent, self-sufficient, loner streak about her that I couldn't resist.) Super quick to LEARN but not so eager to OBEY! She is a one-family dog...aloof with those outside of the family. She is a very courageous dog and extremely loyal. She is Doug's favorite...because she looks like a police dog and she weathers his inadvertant rough handling with unending patience.

Ransom has become my side-kick when the kids are in school and Grant is at work. She is my furry companion as I run errands here and there.

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Quick disclaimer: Grant thinks ONE dog is quite enough for us to have at any one time. And, though he likes our dogs, he is not the dog person I am and would not want to be inadvertantly mistaken as such!

And, even though I list this dog or that dog as this or that person's favorite, really they are all the favorite. Even though Gloria, the immovable mass, has the ability to stymie me over all the others, I have to admit that when she is not being passively resistant, she is the most well-mannered, wonderful to be around dog ever...and she just grows on me more by the day in her own quiet, unrelentingly calm, slow, placid way. Still, I like to go on about how annoying Gloria is just to rankle Darcy and Lisa, her hard-core defenders!...besides, being labeled as the "most annoying one" spices up her image!

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