The Last Word

This morning I had several sobering moments. The first, when I walked into the bathroom to ask Darcy something and caught sight of the two of us in the mirror. Darcy, in her stocking feet and her hair pulled back smoothly behind her head, is now exactly the same height as I am with my hair still in it's ratted just got out of bed state. If my hair had been combed, she might have been a micromillimeter TALLER than me. Ow! I have been holding tight to the quarter of an inch height I had over her. My child VISIBLY grew literally OVERNIGHT!

(What I won't add here is that even though I am no longer TALLER than my oldest daughter, I still weigh TWICE as much...really ouch!!!)

So, my morning was already not off to an auspicious beginning. Then, Darcy once again reminded me that her DADDY is her FAVORITE parent. (Like I've done anything to deserve her rejection lately! It's been well over 24 hours since I last embarrassed her in front of the entire world over the internet. Man, can't kids cut their folks any slack any more?! Besides, I was very careful to conceal her identity, wasn't I?!)

Rayna, always the rescuer, raced to me and gathered me up into a hug and said, "You are MY favorite, Mommy!" I was beginning to glow in the exclusivity of her affection when her daddy peeked around the corner, bits of shaving cream still on his face as he peered at his youngest daughter with a sad-puppy-eyed expression. That's all it took! He didn't even have to utter a single word of protest. Rayna was falling all over herself to correct her error and announce, "YOU'RE my FAVORITE, too, Daddy! You and Mom are both my FAVORITES!" Well, so much for my corner on the "favorite" market...I had had my place in the sun for all of 10 seconds out of 13 years of parenthood! Children are so fickle. Glory so fleeting.

On a mission, I peeked into Doug's room and coached him, "I'm YOUR favorite, aren't I?" Not looking up from his Nintendo DS game or even hearing what I had said (I am sure!), he mumbled a monotone "yes". At least I have ONE child who is well trained! Except, that, at that moment I realized the shirt he was wearing looked an awfully lot like the shirt he wore to school YESTERDAY, right down to the spilled food marks near the collar. Now, mind you, on TUESDAY morning, I caught him wearing MONDAY's shirt and had to instruct him to take it off and PUT IT IN THE DIRTY CLOTHES AND GET A CLEAN SHIRT OUT OF YOUR DRAWER! And, actually, on Wednesday morning I noticed he had on TUESDSAY'S shirt and again instructed him that at night the clothes you remove are to go in the DIRTY CLOTHES HAMPER never to be touched by you again until they have been WASHED. And, on Thursday morning I caught him wearing WEDNESDAY'S shirt. So, why it surprised me this morning to see him wearing yesterday's shirt is more a statement about my feeble-mindedness than anything else! I asked him, "Where did you get THAT shirt?" He admitted he had retrieved it from his clothes hamper. (Maybe I should just be rejoicing that he has finally learned to put the clothes IN the hamper rather than dropping them on the floor two feet from the hamper?) I again explained the purpose for a dirty clothes hamper and introduced him to his two dresser drawers filled to the brim with CLEAN shirts. And, this time I relieved him of his Nintendo DS so that his mind could be clearer the remainder of the morning.

After Doug was looking spiffy in his CLEAN shirt and had nothing to do (it is horribly boringly dull to be stranded without your Nintendo DS in the mornings), I thought it might be a great time for some Mother/Son time...since I am his favorite parent and all. So, I patted the spot on the sofa next to me and invited Doug to sit down with me. I thought we could just chat and enjoy each other's company. Doug sat down and immediately bounced back up again, suddenly remembering that he needed to WASH HIS FACE AND BRUSH HIS TEETH. This child has never voluntarily washed his face or brushed his teeth in ten years...but just the thought of having to sit next to his mother and chat was enough to drive him such desperate measures! So much for me being my son's favorite. I could read the writing on that wall!

So, it is understandable that I was moping about in utter dejection about 15 minutes later as my three children assembled at the front door to be driven to school by their favorite parent. Rayna, dear that she is, fell for my shameless bid for favoritism by changing her stance once more and declaring with heartfelt sincerity, "You ARE my favorite parent, Mommy!"

To which Darcy replied, "Dad's MY favorite!"

So, Rayna felt compelled to stand up for me and she announced with even deeper sincerity, "Well, Mommy is MY favorite!!!"

I might have begun to warm in the glow of her words, except for Darcy's quick retort,
"I've had more experience. I KNOW the right choice!"

Well, that sort of trumps all arguments. She's had more experience so she KNOWS the RIGHT choice!

Doug, was diplomatically staying as far away from the spirited argument between his sisters as any intelligent man would!