Someone Who Shall Remain Un-named:

What do you do when you have been working long hours, have precious little time to tend to your blog, and have writer's block on top of it all? Why, you dig back into your old stuff (the decade before the blog!) and relish it anew!

The story you are about to read is true. Only the names have been changed to protect the innocent!

January 8, 1998:

As a certain mother was typing away earlier today, Never-a-Dull-Moment-Child came parading into the room devoid of all of her clothes, save the new addition of fresh white socks and her best black dress shoes. The mother asked her to please go back out and put her clothes back on…at LEAST put some panties on!

A little while later, Said Mother heard Never-a-Dull-Moment-Child out in the living room SQUAWKING. Not crying, actually, just SQUAWKING in a rather agitated manner.

Said Mother yelled, “What’s the matter, Never-a-Dull-Moment-Child?”

And Never-a-Dull-Moment-Child called back, “I’m caught!”

Imagining her foot caught in the slats of the back of one of their kitchen chairs (as had been the case on previous occasions), Said Mother left the computer to go unwedge Never-a-Dull-Moment-Child.

Said Mother wasn’t prepared for the sight that greeted her eyes.

There in the middle of the living room floor, wearing nothing but her socks…stranded like a flipped over turtle…lay Never-a-Dull-Moment-Child...on her stomach with her arms pinned chicken-wing style behind her. Unable to use her arms to assist herself up, she truly was “caught”!

What was holding her arms BEHIND her???

Her PANTIES!

You see, in her infinite two year old creative mind, she had decided there might be a NEW, more interesting way to put her panties on…maybe instead of starting at her feet, she could start at her hands and work the panties down to the appropriate place! Thus, she forced her arms all the way through respective leg holes, managing to even create a decorative twist in the middle(!)…and somehow wound up with both of her arms pulled tightly behind her—effectively “chicken-winging” herself. At which point she must have sensed her need for assistance and had begun running towards her mother, obliviously typing away in the bedroom. Apparently, though, she had not gotten more than a few steps before she had fallen over face first…and there she remained. “Stuck” indeed and at the mercy of her amused mother, who of course had to grab the video camera BEFORE rescuing Never-a-Dull-Moment-Child!

Being a rather heartless mother, Said Mother gleefully thought as she pulled the video camera out of its bag, "Wow! Someday I will be able to embarrass Never-a-Dull-Moment-Child royally with this footage!!!"

(Just for the record, moments later Never-a-Dull-Moment-Child was suitably attired in panties, blouse, and a little corduroy dress, assisted by still laughing hysterically, heartless mother!)

Fortunately for Never-a-Dull-Moment-Child her father is not nearly as heartless as her mother. When her father got home from work that evening, he was amused at the video footage her mother had taken, but out of deference to Never-a-Dull-Moment-Child's feelings when she gets older, he thought they should go ahead and tape over the footage, which they did that very evening—-capturing in it’s place images of Never-a-Dull-Moment-Child joyously sweeping with her little toy vacuum ...well clothed, I might add!


(Just one more reason, I suppose, why a certain Daddy is the 'oft proclaimed FAVORITE parent! ...Said Mother still thinks they should have KEPT those few moments of video footage!)