Old Mother Hubbard...(confessions of an inept mom)

Well, after Darcy and Grant headed out to work this morning, I began the task of getting Doug ready for school. That is when I discovered how BARE my cupboards are!


Things we are out of this morning:

Ritalin
Chocolate Whole Milk
Skim Milk
Toaster Streudals
Pop Tarts
Green Stuff (Kiwi-Strawberry-Guava Juice)
(We don't even have any spaghetti for me to heat up!)


I did find some graham crackers, chocolate frosting, and Root Beer.
Hmmm...it will probably be an interesting day at Doug's school today...



I am claiming the defense of inclimate weather! My entire evening was abruptly disrupted yesterday... Doug had just gotten home from school when TORNADO SIRENS began wailing! Mind you, I didn't even KNOW our little, bitty town even HAD tornado sirens. In seven years out here and through plenty of tornado warnings, I have never before heard them sound. But, the sound was immistakable and the weather was prime for tornados, so, I calmly told all three kids to "go to the basement NOW!" as I dashed to open windows on the north side of the house (you know, equalize pressure and all) and to call my in-laws (as their house is much more soundproof than ours and I didn't know if they would hear the sirens or not). Then I dashed up to the second story of our house to quickly flip on the TV and see what was going on. (Our TV in the basement doesn't receive any broadcast signals...it is just used for watching DVDs. The only other TV in the house is upstairs in Grant and I's bedroom.) Well, I flipped the TV on just in time to hear the weather person (interupting the normally broadcast show) announce that a funnel cloud had been visually spotted and was heading towards (insert name here of our itty bitty town) and that it was expected to pass 3 miles southwest of (instert here name of our itty bitty town) within the next fifteen minutes. Ummm...3 MILES SOUTHWEST OF TOWN... Guess what is 3 miles southwest of town. Yup. OUR house. I looked up to find that NONE of my three kids were in the basement yet! They were just milling around everywhere BUT the basement. Seems Doug had found it necessary to go up to his room on the second story to retrieve his Spiderman essentials...can't be caught in a tornado without your nifty blue silly string web goo stuff, you know...that COULD be the difference between his entire family surving or not surving. Darcy CLAIMS she had actually been down to the basement, but "came back up to see where everyone else was." Rayna, meanwhile was spinning little aimless circles in the middle of the first floor living room delivering a heartfelt soliloquey on how terrified of tornados she was. This time, I threw calmness aside and SCREAMED at everyone to get down into the basement NOW! They scattered in three different directions, none of which was towards the basement entrance. I think the low pressure system was giving them all momentary brain damage! So, I began snatching and grabbing and hurling their little bodies toward the basement door. That worked. With all three kids safely in the basement, I went to let our three dogs in the house. No, mind you, at any other moment in their lives every one of these dogs is more than willing to come in the house, but, (and I blame it again on the mysterious effects of a low pressure system) NONE of them were willing to come in. Shanachie and Rivendell didn't seem at all concerned about the weather, but when I went to grab their collars to drag them inside they figured it must be BATH time or something since I was FORCING them in the house. So, they scattered and refused to come. Meanwhile, idiot Gloria was WEDGING her hundred pound frame as far back into the gloomy recesses of her oversized doghouse as possible. She WAS terrified of the storm and she wasn't about to be drug out of her doghouse for anything. So, here I am outside fighting with three uncooperative dogs while the funnel cloud is hurtling our way! The more frantic I became, the more determined all three of them became NOT to come inside. I got Rivie in first (she is the smallest and easiest to manhandle), but, then she slipped back out between my legs again as I was dragging Shanachie through the door. So, then I got wise and shoved each dog through the basement door and closed it before going back out to drag in the next dog. Finally, I got all three dogs and all three kids stashed in the basement. We decided to make a tornado party of it, so I popped popcorn and poured Pepsi and the three kids and I snuggled up on the sofa to watch "Toy Story Two" while two very happy dogs stretched out contentedly at our feet. (Having found that they WEREN'T being drug in for a bath, Rivie and Shawnie had decided this was a fantastic turn of events, afterall.) Gloria, on the other hand, was just as terrified of the storm IN the house as she had been outside. She managed to wedge herself into a dark little crawlspace beneath the basement stairs! Bless her heart, there isn't a single brave bone in her furry, elephant sized body.

So, did we get swept away in the tornado? Nope! The funnel cloud lifted before it reached our house...and we had a really fun time in the basement...well, all of us but Gloria! But, anyway, maybe that explains why I forgot to go into town last night to get Doug's ritalin refill or go to the grocery store as I had fully intended to.

Oh, and if you are feeling sorry for Doug's teachers, don't...between beginning this post (prior to the pharmacy opening) and now, I have raced out to the pharmacy and bought Doug's new supply of Ritalin and then taken it to him at the school. I didn't call ahead to warn them he was coming to school temporarily unmedicated, because I am a firm believer in self-fulfilling prophecies...so, why plant in his teachers' minds that this was going to be a difficult morning? But, one look at his frazzled teachers when I walked in at 10:00 am this morning told me that it had been bad...very bad, that morning...and it wasn't because any of them were anticipating badness (since they didn't know he didn't have his ritalin on board). They both breathed a sigh of relief upon hearing that he hadn't had his ritalin but now was going to receive it. I heard in unison, "THAT explains it!" Doug didn't seem any worse for wear, though! He bounded up with the biggest smile imaginable. He looked like HE was having a great day...even if everyone around him was pulling their own hair out!