Dear Petunia

Oh me! There are some VERY ADVERSARIAL people in this world! I am taking a deep breath and determining that it doesn't matter!

Wow. I just was subjected to the most demeaning, rude treatment I have experienced in a very long time. Now, as I am sitting back and typing about it, it really is beginning to bring a smile to my face. Chuckling is more defusing than stewing...and my insides could use a little defusing about now! It isn't every day that a 46 year old gets the opportunity to be treated like a 2 year old being upbraided and reprimanded. I have to wonder what it must be like, being Petunia (I'm being nice and not using her real name here, because I live in a very small town and I have no desire to embarrass her). I can't imagine going through life with her attitude. I mean, I wonder how her attitude must color the way people around her respond to her day in and day out.

Of course, this is the first experience I have ever had with Petunia...maybe my first impression is not a balanced one? One can only hope!

I find people who have a totally illogical frame of reference a bit challenging to interact with. And "professionals" who forget that our purpose is to HELP THE PATIENT and that we ALL have the same goal, are a bit challenging to interact with...we aren't competitors, we are all fellow team members serving together in diverse capacities. (Help!...I'm NOT the enemy!....I'm on YOUR SIDE, Petunia!)

I never knew Petunia existed until today....but, she has certainly left an impression on me! Petunia appears to have rather poor listening skills, a deficit of common sense, and is in possession of a shockingly hateful tone of voice and she seems to have a propensity to go onto the attack when there is no battle to be fought! Today, she was condescending and had a sharp tongue. She went on and on at great length, reaming me out over something that is completely out of my control and not even within the sphere of my influence. I can only guess that she was angry and is used to solving problems through intimidation. Even after I had fallen into complete, stunned, silence her cutting words continued continued to fly at me. Her (real) name and her job title and how she interacted with me today are all I know about her. And, if I have my way, that is all I will ever know of her, because I certainly hope our paths never have reason to ever cross again! And as I sit here trying not to sting from the totally undeserved lashing I received from her (on my day off while following up on a detail on my own time, for the good of our common patient!), I keep trying to step away from own feelings and realize that rather than intensely disliking Petunia, I should be feeling compassion for her. ...because I suspect she has a tendency to alienate many people around her...and that must be a very lonely way to live one's life.

I am really trying to take the high road here...I just need to take another deep breath, give my blood a chance to quit simmering, and take it to the Lord, because even though my MIND tells me I should love her, my heart intensely dislikes her.



Nothing comes into our lives without purpose. I know that. Sometimes, like tonight, it takes me longer to find purpose in something that has been placed in my path, but God is faithful to always open my eyes to His purposes.
...Oh Petunia! You came along just to show me how far my own heart has left to go. My heart is shallow...it loves those that love me, but hardens so quickly at those who hurt me. I learned that anew of myself.

But, most of all, Petunia, I think God brought you across my path today so I could see how it FEELS to be berated like a two year old...how demeaning it feels...how disrespected it leaves me feeling.... because, with sorrow in my heart, I realize that is EXACTLY the way I speak to my son when he has done something wrong. There is a better way, even when it is a parent talking to a child who continues to repeatedly make the same mistakes. I have wanted to change, but it is so hard in the moment to change. Today, though, I felt what it was like to be the one being berated and disrespected. Knowing how it feels to be on the other side, makes my heart more eager to change. Experiencing first hand how words wrapped in a demeaning tone can shred a heart makes me want more than ever to find a better way to guide my son and mold him.

Petunia, I think you were a blessing in disguise!

I hope you honestly have a joyous Thanksgiving, Petunia. I'm thanking God right now that I got to meet you today. I learned something. And from our meeting I took away a vivid illustration in my own heart...an ability to feel what it feels to be in my son's shoes. I needed that.