Memories of Thankgiving 2002Our Best Thanksgiving Ever(6th in the series)

Six years ago, the day before Thanksgiving, Rayna was placed in our arms. Later, that same day, our translator knocked on our hotel door and told us, with a baffled expression, that she had received a call from the front desk. They told her there were some people down in the lobby claiming they knew us and wanting to speak to us. The personnel at the front desk found it suspicious that these people who could not speak English were asking to see the C. family (foreigners--US!), claiming they were FRIENDS of ours. The staff at the front desk were bent on protecting our privacy and were certain that these people must surely be up to no good, because how could we (an American family who had just arrived there the day before) possibly KNOW locals? Ahhh...but we DID know them! At least we knew their brother! We had been very good friends with their brother, Z. W., for several years. He was living in America and we had become friends with him when he first began developing his conversational English skills. He had become a very dear friend. He had been so excited when he heard that our baby was coming from HIS home town. He had called all his family and given them our travel itinerary. He had told us we should call them the moment we arrived in HeFei. We felt uncomfortable calling his family, though...we didn't know them, we didn't speak Chinese, and we didn't want them to have to travel to HeFei on our account. So, we hadn't called. But, that didn't deter them a bit! Here they were, down in the lobby, on the same day we had gotten Rayna! The wife of Z. W.'s brother and that wife's sister and that sister's husband had all piled in a taxi and made the long trip to our hotel!

We assured the front desk that they WERE indeed friends of ours and we would be happy to come down and meet with them. Our group's translator (Judy) graciously offered to come along. We met them in the lobby and visited a while with them there, then invited them up to our room. Before they left that day, they insisted that the following day we must come to the home of sister-in-law's sister's home (she and her husband lived on the far side of HeFei, he was a university professor). They had no idea that tomorrow was Thanksgiving.

So, it was, that in the early afternoon of Thanksgiving in 2002, we were in China, sharing cabs with our new found friends. (They had returned to our hotel to take us to the one couple's home.) Judy (our group's translator) offered to come with us to our utter relief and absolute delight. What a memorable Thanksgiving! We left the hotel far behind. Soon we were in the outskirts of the city, far off the beaten path of foreigners. We walked along the outskirts of the university and wound in and out of narrow alleys afoot. The alleys were buzzing with life. People were sitting outside the doorways of their home carrying on animated conversations, smoking pipes, and cooking...lots of cooking going on either outside or just within the dim interiors that we caught glimpses of through the open doorways. I felt like we were walking some place that none but Chinese feet had walked trod. We were in the heart of a vibrant neighborhood. As I walked along, I felt like I was being allowed to be part of something that foreigners were not suppose to be part of. It was so different from the business areas or the public parks. It was so personal. We climbed steep steps and found ourselves in a very clean, small apartment. I remember that Z. W.'s sister-in-law offered us bananas. Darcy HATED bananas. Always had. Refused to eat them. Couldn't stand them. I was desperately hoping my seven year old would not embarrass me by expressing her intense dislike of the bananas being offered. To my surprise and utter relief, she eagerly reached out for one and proceeded to happily eat the entire thing. She later told me, "I like the bananas in China! I just don't like the bananas in the United States!" Darcy holds to that claim to this day! Personally, the banana tasted like a banana to me...but, now that she is back in American, Darcy once more can no longer stomach bananas!

After the sister-in-law's sister's eldest son came home from high school, we all set out on foot for the restaurant. (Sister-in-law, her husband (the brother of our dear friend) and their pre-school age son; Sister-in-law's sister, and her husband, and their high school aged son (the only person in the group who knew some English!); along with our translator, and our own family of four. The walk was a couple of miles. The evening was beautiful...like a gently cool Fall evening. Walking, I felt so much more a PART of China than I had ever felt riding past in a taxi or bus or train or plane. And we were in a part of HeFei that only the locals would be in. We certainly drew a long of stares...but, then we were staring wide-eyed ourselves, trying to take it all in and burn it all into our memory. I had forgotten to bring my camera. I was still so overwhelmed with my brand new baby, getting to know her and understand her that somehow I had managed to leave my camera behind. The best part of China will be forever only etched in my mind...no pictures to look back on or share with others.

Eventually, we emerged from the maze of alleys far too narrow for vehicles to drive though and came upon a very busy street that was four lanes wide. We had to dash across this street in order to reach the restaurant. I remembered anew how in China the MOTOR vehicles have the right away, not the pedestrians! We scrabbled across the lanes through the traffic like a frogger game come to life! When we reached the restaurant, there was a huge round table already set, waiting for us. Our dear friends spared no expense. They ordered dozens of lavish entrees and appetizers and soups. There were frog legs and duck and venison and EVEN TURKEY! There was so much to try and it was all delicious. There was even fried alligator! The alligator was particularly tasty. It had been prepared much like a blooming onion with bite sized pieces sticking up all over off the back of the alligator. You just picked a bite-sized piece off. Each bite was individually coated in a light crispy shell. The snow white meat inside was tender and delicious. As I ate delicious, unfamiliar food, surrounded by welcoming strangers speaking a tongue I did not speak in a land where I was the newcomer, it struck me that never again in my life would I be likely to have a Thanksgiving so much like what the Pilgrims in my own country had experienced that first Thanksgiving.

That night, we had the most lavish Thanksgiving feast of our lives....in the heart of China, far off the beaten path in a restaurant where there were nothing but locals present--and ourselves...with new dear friends who had such generous, loving, hearts embracing us in their midst...and none of them had any way of knowing the significance of the day they had chosen to lavish their best dishes upon us--our Thanksgiving! That was the most beautiful Thanksgiving of my life. We were so far from home, and yet we were home.

The following evening, our friends came to our hotel once more, and this time to tell us good-bye and lavish gifts upon us. They agreed to stay and have supper with us at the hotel and, once more, our dear, sweet translator, Judy, set aside her own evening plans to join us.

What touched my heart most of all over those three days was how the young sister-in-law's heart just went out to our new baby daughter. She couldn't hold Rayna enough or baby talk and play with her enough. It was as if her heart was so hungry...so lonely...for a baby girl of her own. She spoke wistfully of a friend of hers who had had a baby girl and kept her. A few years later this friend had defied the one child rule, choosing to pay the fines and suffer the consequences to have a second child, hoping for a son. The friend had, indeed, had a son the second time. The decision to defy the rules cost her dearly. She was stripped of her career and much pressure was brought to bear upon her and her husband, but she did not regret her decision. The sister-in-law spoke so wistfully of her friend and quietly mentioned how she wished she could have a second child. Her heart yearned so deeply to have a baby girl. She spoke of all the baby girls that are abandoned in the countryside. She spoke of parent-in-laws who force young mothers to give up their baby daughters. There was pain and sorrow in her heart...but, hope, too, at seeing our beautiful baby daughter so alive and joyful...and so very loved by us. She loved our baby, too. I wondered if the love that family poured out upon us was because we were friends with their relative or, maybe, even more, because we were giving a loving home to one small, fragile, precious little DingYuan girl....a girl from their town....one of them. All of the adults, even the men, doted on Rayna and delighted in her smiles and her attention. They loved her so much. But the young wife of my dear friend's brother, her heart knit so deeply to little Rayna. Her heart hungered more than all the rest to hold this baby of ours and press as much love on her as she could in our short time together.